What does it mean when a girl says your adorable.

So yesterday I drove my mom's boyfriend to court.

It was a very long and boring process. Nothing like what I saw on the media.

There's no arguments no testimony no gavel. Just a big bore fest.

After that we went to see J____'s cousin.

I'm not gonna lie She's hot pretty damn close to a ten, and she has a very kind bubbling personality.

We sat there last night getting buzzed spinning yarns about our childhoods.

So here it is I'm so adorable. Now there is a search going on they want to find a girlfriend 

for me. Well crazy old me I love the idea. The truth is my very active labido has been leading me to some interesting actions. Some days I'm like an A 10 going on one hell of a run. Thats specifically when I have a wing man. Thats when i'm cool. Hell on those days even the guys"gay ones" wanna chat with me.

Of course I don't really have gaydar so I don't know until someone points it out to me most times.

Other days i'm in ninja mode don't look at me don't speak to me,

I don't exist. 

Here's my problem I really have a fear of intimacy.

It could be related to some peoples parenting methods, here are some of the mantras from my childhood:

If a girl says no it means no or else you will go to prison.

If you ever get a girl pregnant and leave her I will puncture your lungs and drop you in a lake.

Your grandpa had a big dick I don't know what happened to you and your father.

you don't touch a girl unless she says yes or you will get in trouble,

Of course all that happened before I ever had any religious stigma.

The whole if you spill your seed G-d will cut you down

and everything else that goes with it.

And here is my favorite Just thinking of him makes me want to barth.

That last one was in the third person it was from the first courtship I tried in middle school.

I thought I was doing well but I guess appearances were more important than actual likes.

As far as my member goes it's a nice average size of 6 3/4 inches  when standing

so it's not allot but i'm sure it could get the job done. I'm a grower not a shower

Though lately allot of older women have been after this dick.

I wanna give it to em but I'm afraid, and I really don't know how to work through it now.

So yes I may be adorable but i'm also very troubled and I have no clue on how to 

unlearn all this dysfunction and figure out a way to enjoy this part of my life. 

So maybe one day I'll find it maybe some of you can make suggestions 

Yom Kippur and music and other stuff

I've really been listening to this album a lot on my ipod

"yes I finally got an Ipod thanks To my moms ex girlfriend" She even gave me a really cool blanket.

It really makes the ambiance of my life come together now.

Driving home after a graveyard shift  I think the sound is perfect for winter. 

I think it would be a great soundtrack to a bedroom romp as well.

Right after yom kippur I got a good sign I was guarding a party.

When it was time to leave I found a pair of panties under my windshield wiper

The only thing of note I really did was bust some hopak"cossack dancing "

I think it's a sign that G-d or some chick has interesting plans for me this year.

Who knows maybe fried fish and champagne

Maybe a spring fling.

Being that the Jewish new year has passed. I have to make a bucket list of things to do this year.

There is always the usual stuff you know:

quit smoking

Lose weight

make more money

learn something 

then of course there are my usuals

lose weight

find a pair of heels or boots not meant for strippers or drag shows

"big feet big problem"

The truth is my only disappointment from this 

new year was not being able to find the Rabbi or the synagogue.

After looking for them both for about a good four hours, it made me ponder about some things

here is what i believe to be the best of what I gathered

"The Rabbis have everyone hyped up on this third temple.

Where as I understand we have it pretty awesome today.

There is no conduit no cohanim no animals.

All the services of the beit hamikdash are done in the heart they are done in the mind.

It's uncut connection 

through prayer and meditation every Jew can be the Cohan Gadol  

Every Jew can offer incense bread and animal to G-d"

But I did fast so I think i'm good 

In the end It's all the same i'm still just hoping for acceptance,friendship,romance,Fortune,mazol,

and maybe those shoes,and a vagina 

well Until next time paca my friends paca

I was high yellow until......

My Mom got a job as a inhome care taker.

Her client is a double amputee half paralyzed by a stroke.

Her client worked her whole life to raise her son all by her lonesome.

Her client spent nearly twenty years living in the same house.

Her clients landlord is a real gem

leaking pipes not their problem. Broken heater not their problem.

Black mold not their problem. Wiring flaws not their problem.

Now my mom in many ways is like That clint Eastwood character,

she see's a problem she see's the weak and the sick being messed with, so

she does the right thing no matter what happens

here are a few examples:

Drug dealers training a dog to be vicious, she steals the dog

and then me and my brother become targets.

The union at work is ripping everybody off, she makes some noise and gets put in searchlight

Her company is trying to screw someone out of their pension, She testified in court on his behalf

and lost her job.

Now back to the landlord. My mom starts barking up the tree for repairs.

So the landlord calls their lawyer and start filing false complaints to intimidate us .

Me and my brother turn into drug dealers and my brother is now my moms black boyfriend.

Next thing you know the cops barge in and do a welfare check on the client, not only do they check the client they disrespect my mother.

Next One afternoon I have a patrol car following me around.

So my mom calls her Lawyer 

who states in his letter A______ has two 

sons they are both african American and one of them is a veteran and works as a security guard.

Of course besides for my hair and some of my facial features i'm as white as the next guy.

Though my brother he's dark like Wesley snipes.

"in lawyer language this means give me a harassment suit I dare you punk"

Well now the force knows one of my secrets. I really hope my doppelganger doesn't go 

and commit a bunch of crimes because if he does guess who the cops will

come after first.

It just saddens me. This is my perception of how justice works

The guy who can hire the lawyer that plays golf with the judge always wins. 

As for me I guess i'm a three course meal 

for these assholes A black Jewish Trans-Thingy 

well until next time paca kroshka paca 

working the graveyard shift all alone....

So here it is my dear friends Emma Lee vanya 

is Now Lee The security guard. most nights bored out of her wits.

Walking through big empty industrial buildings looking for ghosts .

once upon a time in the fair Town of San Miguel lived 

a Man with a sack of gold and a big mouth......unfortunately

He told a few people with no gold about his big sack of gold.

So They murdered him and everyone else on his property and ran off 

with his gold.

Well that Family has been haunting the town ever since.

 Really though it makes me wonder 

because I have thought about a woman in a white dress....

specifically when I was walking alongside one of the 

buildings for the winery 

Of course I got the feeling she liked me 

though I wonder how she would like EmmaLee  

If she showed up

Would a ghost hate me and all my craziness?

I don't know but it would be cool to have a ghost as a friend.